Special Gift: The ability to get things done Self-Definition: "I'm successful." Shadow Issue: Lying Rejected Element: Failure Addiction: Efficiency Strength Needed: Truth/hope Defense Mechanism: Identification Psychological Disturbance: Workaholism; manic-depression Talk Style: Self-promotion Preoccupations Include: Identification with competitive achievement. Belief that they get love for what they produce rather than what they are. Poor access to personal feelings. Constant adjustment of image to gain approval. Self-deception to maintain a public image. Identification of self with role or job over family concerns. Submission by conforming to other's values, then avoidance of depression by achieving the other's approval. Convergent thinking: a multi-track mind focused on a single goal. Focus: Personal emphasis on security. Couple emphasis on masculinity/femininity. Community emphasis on prestige. Life Task: To stop valuing themselves in terms of their performance. Usually only a significant failure can precipitate the depression needed to sufficiently slow down and question what they are doing, and why. Hope comes with the practice of truth and in glimpsing a larger vision of lawfulness.
# The key word is "Stop." Leave time for emotions to surface before hurrying to the next task. Find the fear of feelings that underlies an urgent desire for activity. # Learn the difference between doing and feeling. Note when activity is mechanical. Robotlike work suspends feelings. # Notice when fantasies of success replace actual abilities. # Stay with problems rather than veering off to new projects, discrediting critics, or reframing failure into success. # Pay attention to postponement of feelings. "I'll be happy after the next promotion," "We'll have more time after I get a raise." # Notice when you feel like a fraud. "Nobody sees behind my mask. Only what I do is seen." # Note unrealistic fears of failure when the work pace lessens. # Be aware when self-reflection or support group sessions become a task to master or the next job on the schedule. # Learn to recognize feelings. Threes may have to start by naming the sensations that underlie feelings. "My face is hot" or "My belly feels tight." # A definite time limit for self-reflection softens the fear of emotionality. Begin with thirty-minute breaks and then back to work. # Get support in making feeling choices rather than staus choices. # Allow people to love who you are rather than what you do.
# Do you sometimes think you're too cynical or suspicious because you intuitively seem to know the hidden motives of others -- especially their dark, manipulative intentions? # Are you able to be positive, optimistic, and upbeat around others even though you feel pessimistic or desperate about your life when you're alone? # Do you guard against becoming too emotionally vulnerable or dependent upon even those closest to you because you fear being manipulated? # When your goals are unclear or you don't have any goals, do you lose your energy and find that life is suddenly dull and boring? # To avoid being rude or hurtful, do you often have to feign interest in a conversation you're having because a new idea or important current project is beginning to race through your mind? # Do you prize relationships that are free and undemanding and break relationships that become too complicated or time consuming? # Are you able instantly to hide your feelings of shock, disappointment, anger, embarrassment, and so on until you can deal with them in private? # Would you tend to err on the side of saying too little rather than saying too much? # Is it difficult for you to take time for yourself, to relax or to "do nothing" when there are still projects left undone?